Quote of the Day 11/30/07 - Ambrose Bierce

"Opportunity is a favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment." - Ambrose Bierce

As with most of them lately, no particular reason for this one, other than I liked it and Bierce seems kind of cool...and I thought we could take a little break from the philosophies of the great Charlie Brown this week?

10 5 things that make me feel old...

I'm 26 but lately, some things make me feel about 86. And I have been accused of acting a little older than I am from time to time, but come on...some of these things...

1. I have the ability to walk around without an iPod stuck in my ear. When I decided to give the whole "news thing" a try last year, my immediate thought was to return to school and take some journalism classes, so I did. I had my pens, my paper, my books, etc...apparently I forgot the all important accessory, the iPod. Don't get me wrong, I have an iPod, I love it, I use it quite often while I'm working out or cleaning...you know, something that may take a while and require some entertainment, but I do not find it a necessary component of everyday life. Kids would knock me down as they left a classroom, all because they were too busy trying to fit those little white buds in their ears. Apparently it is impossible to walk across a campus (that's not even that huge, it's all scrunched up in downtown Atlanta!!) to your next class without hearing the latest Fall Out Boy song.

2. Fall Out Boy. Now, I hate it as much as the next person when someone tries to be all, "They don't make music like they used to" but I guess I'm reaching that point. When I was a teenager, we joked how when you get old you go from being an "MTV person" to a "VH1 person." Not that you find a lot of music on either station these days, but I guess the time has come for me to be a "VH1 person?" So what the hell is a Fall Out Boy? I can't name you a song they do but I can tell you who they are. Why? Because I've heard five thousand references to this group in our current pop culture. It's kind of like the people who only know Peyton Manning as that guy on the commercials. I went to their Wikipedia page to see how their music is described and laughed to myself at the terms "punk" and "rock band." Then I kept reading, saw the word "emo," immediately closed the page, and set my iTunes to Stone Temple Pilots. Ahh, real music.

3. Soulja Boy. While I'm on the subject of music, let me address this one. I had no idea who this Soulja Boy was until I saw the UGA football players out on the field doing a choreographed dance before the game a few weeks ago. I knew there had to be more to this so I did some research and as it would turn out, there's a movement going down. It's called POORLY MADE RAP AND HIP-HOP. Okay, I've always been a huge rap & hip-hop fan and I still am, which is why I can understand why this Soulja Boy has a huge section called "controversy" on his Wikipedia page. Have you heard this song (I'm not even sure there's a title)? The very first time I did, I asked, "Are there actual words to this or is he just going to keep making those noises?" Anyway, this is one subject that really fascinates and I could talk at great lengths about it, but I'll spare you. I just gotta wonder if Soulja Boy and his fans realize Flavor Flav is not just a guy on VH1?

4. Matthew Perry. I think you all know I'm a huge Matthew Perry fan. As I think I mentioned in that whole Andy Levy/"reason to watch Red Eye" post earlier this week, there are very few people who just impress the hell out of me and grab my attention...and that involves a combination of a lot of things. Heck, those may be the only two I can think of at the moment. Anyway, the point is, I've been a big MP fan for a while, and without getting into a long-winded explanation about how talented I think he is and how much potential I think he has (I really think he should write), I get pretty excited when I hear he's going to be working on a new project. So imagine my surprise when I find out he's going to be playing the "middle-aged father" in a new film titled "Seventeen." That was the exact term every article used. "Middle-aged father." Okay, I can't remember how old he is, I want to say 38 or something like that, and I realize this is Hollywood and all, but MIDDLE-AGED FATHER? The day Chandler Bing plays a middle-aged father is a sad, sad day. (For the record, my being a fan of him is not some giddy "OMG I LOVE FRIENDS'" thing. Just so you know.)

5. MySpace. This is kind of cliche and I'm not sure if this is an age thing or a "I just don't get it" thing. I honestly thought the whole MySpace thing was for 14 year old girls and "bands" who lived in their parents' basements. As time rolled on, some of my acting & entertainment industry friends were doing it to promote their careers, and that's cool, I guess, but suddenly it seems like every idiot I went to high school with to every jerk I've ever dated to every kid I used to babysit has one! I got rather bizarre looks from my 40-something year old boss the other day because I told her I don't have one! And not only do I find the whole thing ridiculous, people seem to live through these things! I once watched one of my younger cousins sit and refresh his MySpace page over and over because he was "talking to someone" on it. I was like uhhh wouldn't it be easier to give them your e-mail address? My new rule is going to be (after the whole Jim Carrey movie thing), I don't date guys who have MySpace pages...the exception is if they are using it to further their career and that has to be a legitimate career!

6-10. TBD (I know I said I was going to start my top 10 lists again but this will have to do for now. I have JD in the morning and must stop here...plus I'm not THAT old anyway, geez.)

Cell Phones for Soldiers...

Welcome to Cell Phones for Soldiers!

If you are like me and have several ancient cell phones lying around your house, here's something pretty cool you can do with them. These kids started this program...they take old cell phones, recycle them and use the money they get to buy phone cards for our troops to use to call home. I know a lot of people never know what to do with old phones anyway (or at least I didn't) and why let them sit around in a drawer collecting dust when they could be going to such a great cause? You can mail them in or there are several drop-off locations in each state. So, check it out should you feel so inclined... click the link above for locations!

Debate Part 2...

And to think I deleted the paragraph about liberal media conspiracies when I was writing about last night's debate...because I didn't want to be like that...turns out, I was right!

I knew something had to be up...CNN should go down. But it won't. Actually they have the right to do what they want, but they should lose credibility...and they won't.

I really haven't got much else to say on the matter...'Gay question' general linked to Clinton - Kenneth P. Vogel - Politico.com

Quote of the Day 11/29 - Walt Disney

"People look at you and me to see what they are supposed to be. And, if we don't disappoint them, maybe, just maybe, they won't disappoint us." - Walt Disney

I'm not sure what it was in reference to but I kind of liked it.

Quote of the Day 11/28/07 - random college student

"Dude, I think it was Nixon who was in the Watergate scandal. It happened right before World War II." - UGA student.

(I stole this from Emily's away message - she is a grad student at UGA - so I'm not sure if she actually heard it or got it from this site: Overheard In Athens and I don't feel like bothering her to ask but check that site out, it's pretty good.)

Thank you, Fred Thompson...

"The Second Amendment is not a choice thing...it's in the constitution." (it sounds better when you actually hear the little "how could you be so stupid" attitude he threw into it)

This was in response to Rudy G. after he danced around a question about gun control. I wonder if he's still evolving?

I got home a little earlier than expected and I'm watching the Republican/YouTube/CNN debate...I wish I had time to live-blog this one like I did the very first one, but I missed a good chunk of it.

My final thoughts? John McCain reminds of Linus explaining to Charlie Brown what Christmas is "really all about" only not quite as adorable. Romney and Giuliani have to be two of the (for lack of a better word) fakest people I've ever seen, and okay, did you see that three-part South Park about "Imaginationland?" Do you ever get the feeling that somewhere between Strawberry Shortcake and "The Woodland Creatures," Ron Paul may just have a vacation home? Do the rest even matter?

I get what they're trying to do with this YouTube thing, but I think it's pretty stupid. Obviously I enjoy Greg Gutfeld but I don't want to flip over to FNC for their next debate and see him moderating, Red Eye style (though that would be more interesting than the YouTube thing). My point? There are situations in which to be trendy and "cool" and situations when it's really not necessary. But I guess I'm not in it for the ratings. I hate to post/agree with anything anyone at CBS says, but this guy's comments about this debate (or the ads leading up to it) are pretty good.

Oh look at that, Anderson Cooper went straight from moderating the live debate to hosting his live show...isn't he uhhh, special. Look how he just changes hats like that, all the while, looking ever the emo-pensive-to-cool-for-school-hipster that he is. That, ladies and gentlemen, is why Wolf Blitzer don't make the cover of Vanity Fair.

Updated to say: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! This "after the debate" stuff with Erica Hill is bullshit. The "republican voter" in the audience would rather vote for John Edwards and doesn't care for Fred Thompson's TV shows??? (Though she kind of likes that "Giuliano" fellow!) This woman is either extremely stupid or craftily chosen by CNN. Or both. This is why I can't watch this CRAP! (I would explain better but it's not worth the time.)

And so finally Fred Thompson jumps on MY bandwagon...

Thompson attacks Fox News

Fred Thompson attacked Fox News on Sunday for what he called a "constant mantra" that his floundering campaign for president is troubled, and he accused the network of skewing things against him.

You see, I have been saying this for months (which you would know if I could find the thing I wrote about that and promised to post here or if you and I discuss politics and you get e-mails from me going off about it). The media does not like Fred Thompson...even the so-called "right-wing media."

From Carl Cameron's reports on his "expensive shoes" to the insults for not attending their stupid monotonous debate. (Um, yeah, sorry guys, he was on Leno that night announcing his presidency, appealing to a larger audience, etc).

The truth is Fred Thompson isn't doing as badly as you think he is, but you wouldn't know that if you flipped on your TV. The media couldn't control him or his campaign from the get-go...he didn't bend over backwards to please them or do things the way he was "supposed to." I see the other candidates cowering to be who the person of the moment (whether it be the media or some special interest group) wants them to be...I see Fred Thompson being who he is. Which is why I am voting for him.

I really need to find what I wrote...

Quote of the Day 11/27/07 - Terry Bradshaw

“You've got to stand up and do your own battles. My daddy taught me that a long time ago, that you fight your own battles. The only way to shut everybody up is to win.” - Terry Bradshaw


That said, it's official. There is no possible way I could win fantasy football this year. I'm out. Team Sarah is finished. Now I know how the Falcons Dolphins feel. Or maybe Ole Miss. Why did I lose? I can't exactly pinpoint one thing...for example, Marvin Harrison (and others) getting hurt didn't help. Aside from Joseph Addai, I had the worst collective group of running backs...none of them put up the numbers they were suppose to. And my stupid QBs...don't get me started. Of course, I think everyone in every fantasy league who does not have Tom Brady will lose. I stand by what I said at the beginning of the season...he is overrated. The Patriots just cheat. Let the gloating begin.

Please note, I deleted the last post (sports & TV update?) it was very boring and was less "update," more "what I parked my ass in front of the TV and watched this weekend..."

Thanksgiving is over, the Falcons suck

I hope everyone had a good day...I actually did have a nice time with my family, it was all very Norman Rockwellesque and then I came home and watched the Colts vs Falcons.

NOTE TO FALCONS: Once you've scored one touchdown in the first quarter, do not dance around like you've just won the Superbowl. Joey Harrington, as I said last week when your eyes glazed over after the crowd began to chant your name, you are not John freakin' Elway...and you most certainly are not Terrell Owens...do not dance in the end zone. You guys do all that gloating...and you may very well be proud of yourselves, I mean you did, after all, score an actual touchdown...but now the game is over and you guys lost 31-13...because you did not score another touchdown. And now that whole celebration thing just seems kind of silly and embarrassing, doesn't it?

Quote of the Day 11/22/07 - Guess Who?

Charlie Brown: I can't cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.

Linus van Pelt: That's right. I've seen you make toast.

Actually, it's more of an exchange...and yes, more Charlie Brown...but every time I post one, someone goes, "Awww, that's so cute" or "Awww, I can so relate to that." And you know I live to please! And well, that's definitely one I can relate to. Let's just say, I'm not allowed in the kitchen...ever....particularly around the holidays...though I did make a kick-ass red velvet cake last year. I worked hard on that thing, caught a towel on fire, and burned some stuff, but it all worked out in the end!

Quote of the Day 11/21/07 John Steinbeck

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck


[edited to say] Please excuse my mis-matched sheets...remote, and weights...yes that is a remote and a small set of hand-weights, pervs.

The way it was: my Monday sports wrap-up!

Glavine agrees to one-year deal with Braves ... and it just feels right. That's really all I have to say...nothing witty (or at least nothing I think is witty but everyone else probably thinks is lame). Really, I don't think you all get what a huge Tom Glavine fan I've been since about 1989!

and:

Vick begins prison sentence early I have nothing to say about that either. Really, I don't think you all get how much I've disliked Michael Vick since about 2000.

Both of these make me feel like it's ten years ago all over again...but I'll keep my nostalgia to myself!

Quote of the Day 11/19/07 Agnes Repplier

"Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding." - Agnes Repplier

Yes, I'm finished with Charlie Brown for now...wait until we're closer to the holidays! Actually, I picked this because my life seems chalked full of irony right now...I'm talking like if it got any more ironic, I'd be riding in a car with three other hyper-active versions of myself.

Poor Byron Leftwich

I can feel sorry for just about anyone that may even slightly deserve it but you really gotta feel bad for Leftwich when the home crowd at the Georgia Dome is chanting, "Joey, Joey, Joey..." and booing the Falcons as they leave the field. You also gotta feel bad for a group of fans who's only hope is Joey Harrington. And no, Joey Harrington, this doesn't mean you get to walk around on the sidelines like you're John freaking Elway. Take the skip out of your step.

Edited to add this still photo I found from today's phenomenal game (31-7, Tampa Bay)
Really, you just had to see it.

Quote of the Day 11/17/07 - Charlie Brown

"There must be millions of people all over the world who never get any love letters . . . I could be their leader." - Charlie Brown


Yep, Charlie Brown again. This is what... the third time this week? Okay, part of it is to do with the fact that I'm tired and have the Peanuts quotes bookmarked from the first time, but I really do adore Charlie Brown & Co! There may be more to come... (Besides, you guys seem to like them better than my political ones anyway!)

Quote of the Day - 11/16/07

"When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which never happened!" - Winston Churchill

No particular reason for this one...just give me credit for not quoting a cartoon character for once this week!! (and for not quoting John Mayer!)

Out of the Dark: My Thursday Sports Wrap-Up

Just some headlines that caught my eye today...

Finally, something substantial from the Braves-Glavine situation...

Yes Barry, you can "put an asterisk in baseball" ...and more importantly an indictment...

The Hawks...well I don't actually have a headline...remember the days of Christian Laettner, Steve Smith, Mookie Blaylock, and Dikembe Mutombo? No really, dare I say the Hawks might be okay this year? I realize they currently have a losing record, but still...

But I will say, in other NBA news, some people really need to get over themselves...

In Falcons' news (no, that's not a joke)...Bobby Petrino puts Leftwich vs Harrington question to rest...and so, Falcons' fan(s?) no longer have to pretend they question...

And Falcons' business partners buy the remaining tickets for Sunday's home game, preventing ANOTHER local TV blackout and thus, saving Atlanta media from having to get clever with a new batch of weekend headlines...

Finally, Auburn really needs to get over it and move on... actually, maybe things are getting a little flashy at Sanford Stadium (that or I'm getting old*) but it's all in good fun and it brings people together, right?!



*Apparently I am getting old...I just did a little "Soulja Boy" research...wow, I am so far out of the loop with that sort of thing...

Quote of the Day 11/15/07 - Charlie Brown

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'" - Charlie Brown

I know, Charlie Brown again...what can I say? It works.

Quote of the Day 11/14/07 - Charlie Brown

"If I stand here, I can see the Little Red-Haired girl when she comes out of her house. Of course, if she sees me peeking around this tree, she'll think I'm the dumbest person in the world. But if I don't peek around the tree, I'll never see her...which means I probably AM the dumbest person in the world...which explains why I'm standing in a batch of poison oak." - Charlie Brown

Again, I'm a sucker for all things "Peanuts." Charlie Brown and the gang...they are like...hmmm... the comfort food of cartoons characters.

I'm just sappy today or something...

The Lucky One

I'm not one who does a lot of crying... And it's not because I'm cold-hearted or anything like that, far from it...I guess I see it as a sign of weakness so I've kind of trained myself not to do it, at least around other people (though I do have a saying about only crying over soldiers and dogs...)

I'm also not the most romantic person in the world...nothing turns me off more than when someone tries too hard...I say cut the bull and just be nice and honest.

I guess I should also add I'm not a huge Sandra Day O'Connor fan.

That said, this story is plastered all over the AOL welcome screen and I have to admit, there was tear potential when I read it. A New Page in O'Connors' Love Story: Briefly, it talks about Justice O'Connor's husband's struggle with Alzheimer's and how she's handling it, including how he has "fallen in love" with another woman at his assisted living facility... (there's more, just read.)

Now that, to me, is truly romantic. The fact that they've been married for 55 years only to have it end up like this...that has to be the most difficult thing in the world...but the fact that she can see through it all to find the positive speaks volumes. The fact that she seems to continue to love and care for someone who is more or less gone and can't exactly love her back, and to see to it that he remains happy and comfortable when he can't take care of himself...I don't know, it just seems like one of the best things you can ever do for a person. It may be the sweetest yet saddest thing I've read in a while.

I know so many people go through similar situations with Alzheimer's and I know it's very difficult and painful to deal with, but I also know not everyone gets to have someone who is there for them like that...I think most of us can only hope we'll be so lucky.

And oh heck, while I'm being all girly and weird, can I just say Amanda Peet may quite possibly have the cutest baby I've ever seen? Look at those big round eyes, and chubby cheeks and legs!!

Okay, I'm good now.

Quote of the Day 11/12/07 - Fran Tarkenton

"I have played in many stadiums, but to me there are only two special stadiums - Yankee Stadium in New York and Sanford Stadium in Athens, and there is no comparison between the two. There is no place in the world precisely like the grass that grows between the hedges in Athens, Georgia." - Fran Tarkenton

(Hey, it was either this or John Mayer and nobody wants that!)

(I'm still thinking the blackout thing was awesome...I was going to link one of the many YouTube videos but they all appear to have been filmed by drunken frat boys.)

(and for once, picture not stolen)

Veterans Day

You may not realize it but today is Veterans Day! So...if you have a minute, think about the brave men and women who have risked and sacrificed their lives for you (and I mean really think about what it means...I don't think I can put it into words) or if you know someone who has served in our military, ya know, maybe do a little something nice for them or at the very least say thank you.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE

It is the Soldier, who salutes the Flag,

who serves under the Flag,

and whose coffin is draped by the Flag,

who allows the protester to burn the Flag.

Things I Learned Today:

Yeah, I'm a little bored! I actually got these off someone else's blog and who am I to pretend to be too cool for stupid quizzes? So today I learned:

I have a Southern accent. (Umm, bet you never would have guessed that. I don't think it's that bad though.)

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The South That's a Southern accent you've got there. You may love it, you may hate it, you may swear you don't have it, but whatever the case, we can hear it.
The Midland
Philadelphia
The West
The Northeast
The Inland North
Boston
North Central
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I am a Social Liberal? (I am so not a social liberal)
I am an Economic Conservative (that's true)
These combined best describe me as "Libertarian" (eh, I have a lot of tendencies but I don't think I'd label myself that way)

You are a Social Liberal (68% permissive) and an... Economic Conservative (80% permissive) You are best described as a: Libertarian (80e/68s) Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

I attract "yuppies," "geeks," and "rednecks." Hmm, they didn't have an option for "complete morons." That would have been my guess.

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract Yuppies! You attract the very well-dressed, job oriented type of people. They usually have their finances together, are 'middle of the road' on most topics, generally happy with the 'main-stream' of things. If it is stability you are after, these are good people to attract, if you seek adventure, it may be time for an overhaul.
You attract geeks!
You attract rednecks!
You attract unstable people!
You attract models!
You attract artsy people!
What type of person do you attract? Quizzes for MySpace

I'm paranoid. Throw that in there with Southern accent...I could have told you that without a quiz. OCD seems to be a close second...

What mental disorder do you have? Your Result: Paranoia You are constantly thinking about what others may be saying about you behind your back. You may also feel people have conspiracies against you, or they are out to get you. In crowds you may feel like everybody is watching to closely.
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)
Manic Depressive
What mental disorder do you have?

In honor of the Bulldog win...

Georgia beat Auburn! And yes, they did the black thing... and again, I think it's really cool. I'm telling you, nothing can unite people like an SEC football team

I'm sure some of you have seen this before but it's pretty funny...and some of it's actually very true! It's a college football in the South vs North kind of thing:

Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America..

Cheerleaders:
NORTH: If you are slightly coordinated, you make the varsity squad.
SOUTH: You begin cheer camp at age two, complete with ballet, dance, & gymnastic training.

Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus & put name on the waiting list.

Women’s Accessories:
NORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of Jack Daniels/Crown. Money is not necessary — That’s what dates are for.

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they’re going to the game, Because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don’t want to see The few hung-over students that might actually make it to class and throw up on their floor.

Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for The weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting “Game Day Live” to get on camera and wave to the folks up north.

Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by Dave Matthews Band, who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.

Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask “Where’s the stadium?” When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you’re near it, you’ll hear it. On game day it becomes the state’s third largest city.

Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team’s mascot on it, filled less than halfway with soda, to ensure enough room for Jack Daniels/Crown.

When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are still less than half full.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.

Smell in the Air After the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of Jack Daniels/Crown.

Commentary (Male):
NORTH: “Nice play.”
SOUTH: “*#@&@, you slow *&%$@#! - tackle him and break his legs.”

Commentary (Female):
NORTH: “My, this certainly is a violent sport.”
SOUTH: “*#@&@, you slow *&%$@#! - tackle him and break his legs.”

Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is emptying out.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker while somebody goes to The nearest package store for more bourbon. Planning begins for next week’s game.

Cause it ain't no party til Maddie Albright shows up!

I think this picture pretty much sums up why I have little desire to go see a movie lately...except maybe "Fred Claus." And that's mostly to do with the extremely vivid (yet very random hey, you can't turn on a TV without seeing an ad for that damn movie) dream I had about Vince Vaughn the other night and really nothing to do with the actual movie.

From the "Lions for Lambs" DC premiere...

Quote of the Day 11/8/07 Robert Frost

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country." - Robert Frost


No explanation needed.

This was so me this weekend...

at the funeral (click to make it bigger):

Lost Dog

What I'm about to tell will make you think (if you don't already) I'm a complete moron and quite possibly a bit of a drama queen (particularly after last weekend's "near death experience." I swear people die from that.)

Basically, last night I decided I really needed a cherry-limeade from Sonic (I swear that stuff is addictive.) And as I sometimes do, I took Gabby... as she likes to ride. And as I usually do when I get home and it's dark, I let her run back in the woods and chase squirrels. For whatever reason, she didn't come back.

So, I called her, I walked around the yard, I walked around my grandfather's yard (he lives next door). I walked up the street in both directions, no Gabby. At this point, my mom comes out (yes, I live with my parents at the moment...) and asks what the hell is going on. I tell her, she gets her keys and we drive up and down the road...still no sign of Gabby. At this point, I'm convinced some wild animal got her and my mother is going on about how she hopes she's not hurt out in the woods somewhere (my dad's brother and sister and her family live behind my parents' and my grandfather's house but there are lots of woods between the four houses, [aside from the pool, a pavilion for parties etc], spread over several acres...my cousins and I jokingly call it the A------- Family Compound.)

So, I get my flashlight and decide I must brave the woods. First of all, the batteries in the flashlight are nearly dead, I'm lucky to get a dim glare from it. Second of all, the woods behind the house are very uhhh...what's the word I'm looking for, dense? Trees, vines, briars, steep hills (so steep I have to sit down and slide down some of them), plants, POISON IVY, fallen trees, etc. And I'm back there trying to make my way through in the dark. (Note to readers: hiking in flipflops is not recommended.) I'm not sure why I chose not to take the cleared path that runs from my aunt's house to my grandfather's house (which is hard enough in the dark as it is)...that sort of occurred to me after the fact...but I was a regular Jacques Cousteau. I mean, my cousins and I used to play in these woods when we were little but these were the areas we swore weren't humanly safe...IN THE DARK!!

I finally made it back to my uncle's house, torn and tattered, worn, bloody (those briars did a number on me), dirty, sweaty, out of breath, and fearing for my poor little dog's life. And then I faintly hear my mother calling me, telling me to come home...I kept asking if she'd found her (we probably woke half the neighborhood) and she wouldn't respond, just told me to come home...which worried me. For some reason, I turned around and decided to go back the way I came and when I reached the first hill...that's when it occurred to me to take the path back. So, I did and I ran as fast as I could...

When I got back to the house, my mom was standing outside glaring at me. I asked if she found her and she told me to go in the house. I just knew something horrible happened... I went inside and my dad was sitting in a chair, looking very pissed off. "Go in your bedroom" they tell me. I walk back to my bedroom, slowly, fearing the worst...and when I get there, there sits Gabby on my bed, half asleep. Apparently she'd been there the entire time. I'm really not sure how she slipped in the house without me knowing.

Needless to say, no one is very happy with me and the story is already circulating around town. My dad says he told some of his co-workers today (when they asked why he looked so tired) and one of them spoke up and asked if this was the same dog it took three police officers four hours to get to when I'd locked her in my car (along with both sets of keys) a couple of months ago...My mom just said, "Thank God you don't have kids."

Quote of the Day 11/5/07 W.C. Fields

"It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." W.C. Fields

I picked this quote for many reasons, some of which I'd be glad to share, some of which I don't wanna...but the main one being, at one point today, during my uncle's funeral, my father broke into some sort of (whispered only to me) W. C. Fields impression. I would have kicked him or something but he was my only way out of there in time for the Colts game.

Actually, not to be depressing, but I also feel the need to say a little bit more about the death of my uncle than "I hope I can be home by 4:00 for the game" as I said the other day when I mentioned it.

I wasn't particularly close to him for many reasons. I guess I always focused on the bad. The funeral was held at a small Baptist church (oh, I got lots of material for my Southern Goth stuff I'm writing) he attended quite often.n Anyway, I don't want to go into detail but it was quite a nice little service, perhaps the most interesting memorial service I've ever been to (thanks to a young mentally ill guy who probably gave the most honest eulogy I've ever heard) and I learned that it wasn't all bad and I should not be so quick to label people. And I think that quote sort of fits.

So, RIP, CLR. God bless you.

There's no asterisk in baseball...

At least according to Barry Bonds... Did anyone catch that? I'm guessing no because no one watches MSNBC. Barry Bonds is an ass. He was on my first fantasy baseball team. (I don't know how I remember these things.)

I don't really have anything to say about this, Mike Cameron: 'I've Played Drunk' just thought it was funny following this: Cameron fails drug test

And I can't go without mentioning this: Time for Braves to get Griffey . I like Griffey, I always have, I think he was even on my first fantasy team, but what is he like 50 now? I'm kidding, I would like to have KG Jr. Just like I'd like to have Glavine back. My whole thing is that we need some veterans, some leadership, some guys who are over 30 and who are not Chipper Jones.

Speaking of Tommy G...I look like hell in the picture...which is why I edited me out. It was several years ago, something like 20 degrees, we'd been out in it for about eight hours. Yeah...